There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she told me i tasted like america
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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