I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
