i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
