they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
