If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
