Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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