Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
