I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
