I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize