You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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