Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
