one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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