the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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