Yo dont text me then not text me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
