But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
