I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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