Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
What a dumb baby whore.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
