Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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