Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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