operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize