sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
