I'm jealous of your bromance
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
