I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
