People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
