Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
