i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
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best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
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You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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