her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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