how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dicks are not precious.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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