i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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