Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
