i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize