im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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