did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize