every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have already put on my inside pants.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
