Duck Duck Cougar?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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