Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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