Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
