3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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