Do you still have your period?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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