At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize