i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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