So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
