just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
