so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
