Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
