i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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