just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
