She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
