I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
is that a dick in a sweater?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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