He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If I die, sorry about rent.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
