oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
