your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
