eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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