I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
