I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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