How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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