I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
