Do you still have your period?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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