Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
