when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
