I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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