And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
