Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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