fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
